I Just Wanna Be A Girl!

There is a theory that the Twilight story is pretty toxic. Is it thought? There are certain aspects that are. I do agree with it. One of the main aspects is the age difference between Bella and Edward. Bella is 17 and Edward is over a hundred years old. Then there's Jacob's attraction to Bella's newborn daughter, Renesmee. She's a newborn baby and Jacob wants to make her his soulmate. He claims that he doesn't look at her romantically. There are glaring age gaps in the relationships in the story.  The next one is the codependence. Bella is extremely dependent on Edward. She pretty much dies internally when Edward leaves her. She builds her goals around Edward and she aligns herself with whatever he wants to do. She is ready to give up her whole life for him.  Then, there's Edward's controlling nature. Yes, he's her boyfriend, but that doesn't mean that she's incapable of making her own decisions. Edward should let Bella think for herself. He thin...

What do you think home is supposed to be? Home is supposed to be a place you feel safe in. It should be a place where you can be yourself. You can have more than one home. You can have a home away from home. A house doesn't necessarily need to be a home. A house is just a building that you live in. But, the word 'home' means that there is some emotion attached to the building.  You can even find a home in a person. They give you the same feeling that a physical home does. They make you feel safe. When home is a person, you feel safe and secure, no matter where in the world you are. You could be miles away from where you grew up, but you feel cared for when you are with your 'home.'  I think it's one of the most beautiful things to make a person feel at home with you. It shows you how much a person trusts you. When someone calls you their home, it means that you give them peace of mind. You let them be themselves. They don't have to worry about facing judgmen...

A couple days ago, I was out with my friends. I dragged them to accompany me as I tried on a bunch of dresses. I was having loads of fun. That's when I saw it.  It was so beautiful on the rack. It was black and simple. It was plain. There was nothing very special about it. Yet, it sang out to me. I had to try it on. I went to wait in line in the dressing room. When I put it on, I gasped. I didn't think I could look so good.  It was honestly the best thing I had ever worn. It stuck to my figure perfectly. As I turned around to get a better look, I found myself loving it even more. It felt empowering and powerful. Then, I looked down at my legs. (The dress was short. It didn't even come up to my knees.) I don't usually wear short clothes outside. I was a bit shy at first. I steeled up my courage. I assured myself that I looked amazing. I called my friend to come outside the dressing room and I scurried out to show it off. (I use the word scurried because that's litera...

I was listening to the song 'You Don't Know You're Beautiful' when I was inspired to write this. Everyone, please take a moment to listen to the song. When you do, imagine that the song is just for you. It's being sung for the sole purpose of making you realize that you are beautiful.  These days, there are 2 kinds of people. The first type is really vain about their beauty. The other type doesn't acknowledge that they are indeed beautiful. Let's look at the second type for now.  The song talks about a girl who doesn't know that she's beautiful even though there are signs all around her. For example, people stare at her when she walks into the room. She doesn't need makeup to look beautiful. She's perfect the way she is. But, it's obvious that she doesn't know that. Or rather, she doesn't feel beautiful. (No one has made her feel beautiful before.)  I think that everyone needs to know that they are beautiful in their own ways. Eve...

This post is meant for a person who toughened me up through the last year. (No it's someone I mention often.)  This guy was there for me when I was at my lowest. I was sobbing my heart out one afternoon. All I did was call him and he rushed over. He sat by me, trying to make me smile, trying to distract me. When I started shivering, he pressed his leg against mine, trying to make it stop. (It didn't.) At the time, I couldn't think clearly enough to be thankful for him. Having him there made all the difference.  There was another time I needed him equally as much. It was a different situation and a bit more serious. Even though he didn't agree with me completely, he didn't sacrifice me. (By that I mean that he didn't change sides. He continued to stay by my side.)  He even let me play barbie-doll with him. He sat still as I had the time of my life. (There was an event in college for which I helped him with some makeup.)  Throughout the year, one of his favourite ...

What happens to a person raised in an abusive household. When I say abusive, I don't only mean it in a physical sense. Abuse can be mental or emotional too.  When a person grows up in such a household, small noises scare them. When they were young, a loud noise - or rather something banging around - meant that their parents were angry. Their flight or fight response is activated. They are instantly on alert. This sound was a sign that their parents might take out their anger on them. They have to be ready to defend themselves - physically or mentally. Even the sound of the door closing makes them jump.  When a person has been subject to emotional abuse, it means that they never feel like they are worthy. A small change in their loved ones makes them feel guilty. The change in the tone of how someone talks to them scares them into thinking that they did something wrong. They feel the need to apologize constantly because they know that they know that they can't bear to lose anot...

  "I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck, chain round my neck Not because he owns me, but cause he really knows me."  This is a lyric that I can really understand. When you wear someone's initials, it doesn't mean that they own you. It doesn't mean you are theirs. It's not a symbol of ownership. It's a symbol that the initial you are wearing means something to you. It can be that of your best friend, your parents, your partner, or your own as well.  I think it's a big honour if someone wears your initials. It means that you have made a great impact on their lives. If they are wearing it, it obviously means that it's a positive impact that you made on them. It might not seem like much to you, but you probably did something that they really needed. You might have made them believe in themselves again. You might have boosted their confidence. You might have been their biggest supporter. You might have been the reason they succeeded in th...

  "You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love The slowest way is never loving them enough" These lines are really very true. There are many ways that you can kill the one you love - or rather kill love itself. You can make someone lose all belief in love. You can make them lose all hope for their future. You can break their heart. You can send them into depression. You can hamper their relationships in the future. You can make them doubt themselves. You can make them feel like everything is their fault.  The slowest way is never loving them enough. You don't give them the love that they deserve. You can make them feel inferior. You can even make them feel like they don't deserve your love. But, no one has the right to make another person feel like they don't deserve love. Everyone deserves love. If you can't give them that - for whatever reason - that's on you. You shouldn't make them feel like they are unworthy. That c...

Why do you need to ask for permission to cry? To me, that shows the sorry state of today's world. In this world, people don't have the freedom to feel emotion - not only sadness. The world is so cruel these days.  Showing emotion is one of the most basic things. It's horrible that people can't show emotion without permission. I mean, why do you need to ask whether you are allowed to feel. It's not only sadness. If a person is happy in public (and showing it), people have to ask why. It's not just that they are curious, they are jealous. They are jealous that they aren't happy. Why can't someone just be genuinely happy for another person? The world is so competitive. No one really wishes the best for you.  The opposite thing happens when you are upset. People watching are really happy to see that you are upset. That's just plain evil. If someone is upset, one's instinct should be to ask what's wrong and to try to make them feel better.  There ...

Yes. I did listen to this song before writing. But, there was only one thing I could visualize when I was listening to it while looking at the lyrics to the song. I could imagine a powerful and dominant villain. He was looking down at the girl he loved and was saying that he would let the world burn to save her. I pictured the girl looking very feminine and vulnerable. She was a pretty innocent girl who didn't know much about the world. All she knew was this guy - the villain. Then, the villain is willing to let the entire world go up in flames to be with this girl. She became the most important thing in his life. (Yes, this does sound like a dark romance story.) The story I see in the song, however, is a little different. (It might not be what the singer is actually trying to say. This is just what I see in the lyrics.) I see a powerful man, maybe a CEO or mafia boss. He's someone who doesn't believe in love until he meets her. He says that he shouldn't have fallen in ...

Ohhh... This song takes my breath away. Yes, the lyrics are pretty basic and simple. The tune is simple as well. The part I love about this song is the emotion behind the words.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the song, it was written by Christina Perri. It was written for the movie 'Breaking Dawn,' which is part of the Twilight saga. The song became a symbol of the love between Edward and Bella. It talks about the fear of falling in love. It also talks about the joy of falling in love, or rather knowing you are loved.  Every word rings with emotion. Then, there's the James Arthur version. That one brings me to tears. Every time I hear it, my eyes dampen. The singer makes me feel like I'm experiencing the things that the song is talking about. The way that the singer's voice almost cracks makes me feel like my heart is breaking tenfold. Even the way the artist breathes contributes to the emotion of the song.  There is genuine fear in the voice of the ...

What is the definition of perfection? Is anyone really perfect? So, this is how the dictionary defines the word perfect 'having all the required or desirable elements, qualities or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.' I think that everyone has different definitions of perfection.  Some people think perfection lies in beauty. But, beauty is also subjective. People prefer different things. Other people think perfection lies in intelligence or some other personal characteristics that one might possess. But, you can't change who you are just because someone else wants you to.  I think perfection is overrated. It isn't possible to please everyone. You shouldn't aim to be perfect in someone else's eyes. You should aim to be perfect in your eyes. You should be able to be who you want to be. You should believe that you are perfect. People who really love you won't try to change you according to their definitions of perfection. They will admire the fact...

The song 'Fifteen' is a beautiful portrayal of a typical high school experience. It starts on the first day of high school, walking through the doors. The narrator is obviously very nervous and she is trying to stay out of everyone's way. She has loads of dreams. She has a lot that she wants to do. Being a typical teenager, she believes that she has everything figured out.  One of her little dreams was hoping to catch the eye of a senior boy. She wanted to be seen. (This is something that every teenage girl wants. Everyone wants to be seen and known.) The speaker tells us that when you're fifteen, you really believe in love. If someone tells you that they love you, you believe them without a doubt. She believes that she knows what she's doing.  The speaker talks about meeting her best friend by chance. All she did was sit next to this girl, and things just fell into place. Before she knew it, they were inseparable. Smash cut into her first date. Her mom was waiting ...

Your words have a lot of power. You have to make sure that you don't abuse them. You have to remember that the person you are talking to is also a person with feelings, just like yours. Be empathetic when you talk to someone. Before you speak, think of what you are saying. Once you say something, you can't take it back easily.  You have to remember that words can hurt a person more than something physical can. You have to be alert when you're talking. Your words might seem trivial to you, but they could have a really long-lasting effect on the person who receives them.  The person surely trusts you with their feelings. They hope you won't hurt them like they have been hurt in the past. But, think of how hurt they would be when you say something (obviously, you didn't mean it, but it still hurts.) That's when you have to be really careful. You might not be thinking straight. You might be caught up in the moment. But, that's not an excuse to say things without...

Stephanie Meyer released a new book titled Midnight Sun a couple years ago. When I first read it, I didn't really analyze it much. It was just magical to read Twilight (which is one of my favourite books) from Edward's point of view. I loved looking into Edward's mind and witnessing how much he loved Bella.  When I was rereading it a few days ago, I realized how masochistic Edward really is. He accepts that he is in the story, but I never really got it until now. For those of you who aren't familiar with the story, Edward is a vampire who sustains himself on animal blood. Bella's blood is like a drug to him. (His own words.) It's nearly impossible for Edward to resist the allure of her blood. It brings him physical pain to be in her presence. It's like inhaling fire to him. Yet, he puts himself through that torture. Yes, you could say that it's all for love that he does this. I agree with that too. But, in the end, subjecting himself to that pain is maso...

As soon as I heard these words, a beautiful picture painted itself in my mind. When I think of summer, the first thing that comes to mind is a beach. A bright beach that just stretches on endlessly. The sun shines bright and reflects off the pristine sand. The light is so bright it almost blinds you. I pictured a couple of beach chairs. A beach ball and a volleyball net. The sky is clear, there's not a cloud in sight. The beach is covered in footsteps. There are beach toys all around. There are traces of kids and families there. However, it's empty now. You can still feel the exhilaration that people felt there.  Suddenly, I pictured a crash of thunder and a flash of lightning. The sky immediately darkens. The rain comes pouring down in sheets. The shining sun is gone now. The mood drops instantly. The picture changes from one of hopefulness to one of despair. The rain ruins the sand. The beach chairs and the ball is abandoned. The picture portrays emptiness.  Summer is meant ...

As you all know, the movie 'Ghilli' was re-released recently. I only just got the opportunity to watch it. At first, I wanted to watch it to know what all the fuss was about. (I admit, I had my doubts about it. I only watched the movie once before and I barely remembered what the story was.)  Once the movie began, all my doubts flew away. The movie theatre wasn't full, but the energy that the movie's fans emanated was magnificent. It began as the first notes of music played. I could almost feel the anticipation rising among the viewers. As the hero, Vijay, appeared on the screen, the theatre pretty much exploded with cheers and claps and whistles. The same happened with the appearances of the heroine, Trisha, and the villain, Prakash Raj. I honestly didn’t expect such an uproar in honour of anyone but the hero. The audience quoted dialogues from the movie in sync with the actors on screen. The most iconic dialogue was, of course, Vijay’s opening punch line, “Intha area,...

The bridge of this song is one of the most heartbreaking things that I have heard.  So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are I hope it's nice where you are It tells us about the emotions that one feels after a break-up. Here, the speaker is obviously still in love with her ex-lover. But, unfortunately, she has to watch his life from a distance now. That breaks her heart. Another line in the song says "I never thought we'd have a last kiss." She truly believed that the relationship would last forever.  I'm sure this is something that everyone can relate to. How can you love someone without seeing a future with them? How can you let someone go without missing them to the point of insanity? Is it possible to skip the heartbreak and just go back to the way you used to be? I certainly don't think so.  I think ...

And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away These lyrics are from 'Cornelia Street,' from the album,' Lover.'  Imagine you have an epic love. (When I say love, it doesn't have to be romantic. You can imagine a platonic love as well.) You have pretty much traveled all around the city with them. Everything around you is filled with memories that you guys share. You have been everywhere and done everything there is to do. You can't go anywhere without being reminded of them.  So, now what happens if that person leaves. Here, I don't necessarily mean a breakup or a fight. What if they move away. What would happen to you when you are left behind. First, let's imagine that you have parted on good terms. You promise each other to meet regularly. You tell yourself that you will be fine without them.  In reality, everything around you reminds you of them. You can't look at anything witho...

This is another line from the Tortured Poet's Department. It's from the song "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me" On the whole, this song tells us a story of a girl who wasn't really taken seriously. As the title of the song tells us, the world never thought that this girl could do anything. No one was afraid of her talents.  I feel like this line is telling us that everyone feels sorrow and grief in different ways. You can't make a person feel things in one particular way. Everyone has different ways of expressing emotions. It's telling us that no one can really tell you how to feel. Your emotions can't be controlled. You have the right to feel what you want, when and where you want to. No one can tell you not to do so.  Another lyric from the same song is "You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me." This tells us that everyone's problems are their own. Everyone has their own past and skeletons in their closets. No ...

I believe that a woman doesn't need to give birth to a child of her own to have maternal instincts. After all, motherhood isn't for everyone. Some women are terrified of having children of their own but have a very maternal nature.  I believe that maternal instincts develop in girls early on. Younger siblings are like children to them. As they say, older siblings grow up with their parents while younger siblings are raised by their older siblings. They develop due to nurturing relationships formed with others. It comes with a feeling of protectiveness, love, and concern.  It can also develop because of a woman's profession. If she is employed in a job where caring for others is essential, like teaching or nursing, she develops a maternal instinct naturally. These professions cultivate qualities like empathy, patience, compassion, and a nurturing spirit.  Pets also evoke these instincts.  A mother is someone who is supposed to provide unconditional love, guidance, pro...

Every time I hear the song Sparks Fly, a picture paints itself in my mind. I can visualize the things that are happening to the girl in the song. Through this post, I'm going to try to show you that same picture. Try to put yourself in the scene as you read.  You are a girl in New York. It's nighttime and the street is pretty much deserted. You see him approaching you. He is dressed in black from head to toe. His walk is masculine and lithe. He looks like a lion, stalking his prey. There's no way you can escape him. You have been ensnared in his gaze. Your inner conscience tells you he's probably bad news, but you know you are too far gone. You couldn't escape even if you wanted to. But, do you want to?  You blink once and as you open your eyes, he's standing right in front of you. There is a loud thunderclap. You want to glance up to see if it's about to rain, but you can't take your eyes off him. He's close enough to touch. You want to lean over an...

Yesss! You can't let anyone control you. I have been mentioning this over and over again for quite a while now.  The most important thing is that you know what you are doing. You don't have to explain everything to the whole world. The people who really matter in your life won't question you. Here, when I say question, I don't mean that they won't check up on you and make sure that you are alright. I mean that they won't judge you for making your own decisions. The relationships that you make are yours. The world might look at them differently. They might be wrong. You can't sit around correcting everyone. If you do, you won't realize that the time you have to actually be in the relationship that you are fighting for is gone.  It's your life guys. You have to live it how you want to. If you keep waiting for someone's approval, you are never going to get anything done. If you are clear with what you want, that should be enough. The thing is, someo...

The whole lyric reads "I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace." This tells us that no one can really talk behind your back or disgrace you without your permission.  What I would like to take away from this is pretty similar. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. I mean think about it. Would you let someone disgrace you? Especially if you were sure that they were wrong. Obviously, you would stick up for yourself.  It's the same with feeling inferior. It's all in your own head. If you let other people make you feel that way, it means that there's a part of you that feels that way about yourself. You have to feel better about yourself and about your abilities. It helps to surround yourself with people who help you up instead of pushing you down. Don't give anyone the right or ability to hurt you. Remember that you are just as good as anyone else. Remind yourself that you deserve everything that you wan...

  I made you my temple, my mural, my sky  Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life Drawin' hearts in the byline Always takin' up too much space or time These lyrics show us how much the speaker loved someone, but in the end, it wasn't enough. This is the story that I think these lyrics tell us.  She built her entire world around this guy. Hypothetically speaking, she cut off all her other contacts for him. She isolated herself just so she could spend enough time with him. She thought he deserved everything she had. Every cell in her body told her that he was the one. She made him her world.  In the end, she found out that he didn't love her as much. She was abandoned by him. He accused her of taking up too much of his time. This is really ironic, seeing as how she gave up her other friends for him. He should have been thankful for it, but instead, all he could see were her imperfections. She held these against her.  She now had to beg him for atte...

Hold on. How has it been a year already? I feel like I was just walking through the gates for the first time. When I walked out of campus today, it felt different. Next year, I won't be the same person I was. I'll be a senior.  This year has taught me so much. It taught me not to trust people easily and ironically, it taught me what blind trust is like. MCC gave me tons of new experiences. I know that people believe that life here isn't what it used to be once, but I had a blast. I might not have had 'the whole experience,' but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I had the privilege of making the acquaintance of many diverse people who each taught me something new. They gave me experiences like I had never had before.  There were a lot of downsides as well, but looking back on it now, I realize that they all were for the best. If I hadn't had falling-outs with people in my first semester, I never would have made friends who valued me. I'm grateful for ...

No really. What is the point of love? I'm sure I'm going to be philosophical, but this is a question that hit me a little while ago. Think about it. You love someone so much that it consumes you. A part of you knows that the relationship might not last. You can never shake that fear.  So, when you know this is inevitable (not many relationships survive these days), why do you fall in love? What do you get out of it? I think that love isn't a choice. It's something that just happens. You can't deny it. You can't decide to love someone or not to do so.  When you love someone, you give them the love that you think they deserve. This is actually really beautiful. Regardless of whether they reciprocate your love, your love is one of the biggest gifts you can give them. Obviously, you are going to think that they deserve everything you have to offer. You would be in their corner as their biggest supporter. You would be a great source of motivation. You would be the re...

Brother is a word, but Anna is an emotion.  I agree with this very much. I have 3 older brothers, but I can't think of a time where they have actually been what a brother is supposed to be.  One really important thing to remember is that 'Anna' doesn't have to be someone with whom you share blood. It's someone you choose to respect and admire. It doesn't matter whether or not you call them 'Anna.' What matters is that you make sure that they know how much they mean to you. What matters is that know how much you respect and admire and look up to them.  Yes, you usually call a guy who's older than you this way. But think about it, auto Anna, tea-stall Anna, etc. They all have some sort of emotion attached to them. The auto driver Anna makes sure you reach your destination safely. "Take care and be safe," some of them say as they drop you off. The tea-stall Anna makes sure you have enough to eat. "Do you want anything else?" they ask...

A sense of belongingness is something that everyone craves. It's a basic human desire. I'm talking about the sense of belongingness that comes from a person. (I don't mean it only in the romantic sense.) The question is, how do you know when you have found that person. Have you ever been with someone and felt like you just belonged there. They are your home and your safe space. You never doubted it. You don't have to be worried about being judged in their presence. It's just right. No competition. No fears whatsoever. Just comfort, trust, and affection. You know that your rightful place in the universe is by their side.  Now, what would you do when that person is gone. Suddenly, they aren't a part of your life anymore. When you look around, all you see is emptiness. Remember, this person was the only one who made you feel like you didn't have to hide. You felt seen in their presence. They made you feel important and valued. They gave you the assurance that t...

The title of this blog comes from the song "The Bolter." (Yes, by Taylor Swift.) Look at the lyric again. Like really look at it and feel it. Try to understand what it means. "There's escape in escaping."  Usually, escape is seen as cowardly. People who try to escape from situations are looked upon as weak. The society thinks that they can't handle themselves. They have gotten themselves into things that are too big for them. People should stop to look at the situation. Right?  Sometimes, the situation might have been toxic. This song talks about a relationship that has soured. In that case, a person has to get out of the relationship, i.e., escape. Here, escape is used as a noun first. It's used to represent a safe space. A place away from all the drama. A place where a person can be free from the problems that were in the relationship.  The word escaping is used as a verb as well. The most important thing is that it doesn't symbolize cowardice. It ...

I don't believe that a soul mate has to be romantic. I believe that a soul mate can be someone who you really connect with. Not just on an external level. I mean someone who you connect with in a way that seems to transcend earthly planes. A platonic soulmate is someone with whom you share a friendship that goes as deep as it can go.  I believe that platonic soul mates are as important as romantic soul mates. Yes. You can have both.  It is someone who you immediately connected with. By that, I mean that there wasn't a period where you felt uncomfortable with them. You both understand each other very well. There is no jealousy, no competition. When you met them, you might have regretted not meeting them earlier in life. They are really important to you. (And no, you don't feel anything romantic towards them. Yes. That is possible.)  You believe that there is no judgment. You feel safe sharing your secrets with them. The friendship is easy and supportive. You both want the ...