Abusive Households

-

What happens to a person raised in an abusive household. When I say abusive, I don't only mean it in a physical sense. Abuse can be mental or emotional too. 

When a person grows up in such a household, small noises scare them. When they were young, a loud noise - or rather something banging around - meant that their parents were angry. Their flight or fight response is activated. They are instantly on alert. This sound was a sign that their parents might take out their anger on them. They have to be ready to defend themselves - physically or mentally. Even the sound of the door closing makes them jump. 

When a person has been subject to emotional abuse, it means that they never feel like they are worthy. A small change in their loved ones makes them feel guilty. The change in the tone of how someone talks to them scares them into thinking that they did something wrong. They feel the need to apologize constantly because they know that they know that they can't bear to lose another person that they love. They might not have done anything wrong, but they still apologize. However, it takes them some time to realize that it's not their fault. After all, all they have known is that things are always their fault. Any small change in their parents' attitude was blamed on them. 

Their parents blamed them for everything. Another sign is when a person has trouble displaying their emotions in public. In the past, they were criticized for showing any sort of emotion. If they laughed out loud, they were chastised for doing so. ("Why are you laughing over some nonsense? Are you crazy?") If they cried, they were accused of trying to guilt trip their parents ("Aren't we doing enough for you?" they would scream.)

They constantly have to question themselves as to what they did wrong. They are always wondering why their parents keep subjecting them to this. They never feel like they are enough and they can't believe it if someone assures them that they are indeed worthy. 

If you see someone with these signs, be gentle with them. They are trying to get better. They are trying to get used to this kind of stuff, but you need to understand that it's hard. Home is supposed to be a place that nourishes a person and helps them grow positively. Think of how you would feel if you didn't feel safe in your own house. 

Comments

  1. Anderlin VictorMay 26, 2024 at 10:01 PM

    As far as I've heard of abusive households, I could only tell that I couldn't last a day in one. I feel very sorry for people of the same age as me coming from an abusive household. It definitely breaks one, just to hear their stories. Imagine the person's feelings and how they must be tormented.

    ReplyDelete
  2. M.P.SMay 27, 2024 at 7:00 PM

    In awe of your writing skills... The short sentences, the perfect usage of words, and also the relatable statements make this a perfect read!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Remember that you are a Woman

-
Image
  Yes, I am one of those girls who spends most of her time with guys. That doesn’t mean I don’t need to remember the fact that I am a woman. Until recently, I thought I would be totally fine with spending all my time with a group of boys. At one point, I found myself deprived of all the things that made me a woman. I didn’t feel respected as a woman. Even though I had a group of male friends around me, I felt an extreme need for female companionship. There are just some things you need another girl for, right? I needed a girl to gossip to. I needed to moan and whine and just talk about the guys in my life. It might sound shallow, but I think it is one of the basic needs of a woman. When I was reading “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” by John Gray, I noticed how he claimed that women need to be listened to to be validated. That obviously means having someone to talk to. What better place to go to than another woman who makes you feel validated. The world needs more women w...
Read more

A Tribute to My Seniors

-
Image
  Before I start, I’d like to say that this is a very personal post, dedicated to a few very special individuals.  Anderlin, Sharan, Shane, and Mugunthan.  Technically they are my seniors, but they have become something more. These guys are the reason I made it through the year and have become irreplaceable brother figures to me. I may not call them ‘Anna,’ but the respect they earned from me is immeasurable. I still remember the first time I saw them. I was at an ethnic walk practice. It was only my second day there and I wasn’t very confident yet.  The four of them weren’t around on the first day of practice.  That’s when they arrived. They appeared, walking in a straight line. They looked so majestic and powerful that they scared me. They came to stand in front of me and I remember chills running down my spine. None of them were laughing at the moment (you’re not allowed to laugh or smile during an ethnic walk.) I was so intimidated by them. There aren’t wo...
Read more

Just Say "I Loved You The Way That You Were."

-
Image
This is another lyric from The Tortured Poet's Department The Anthology. It's from the song "Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus." The lyrics that I want to talk about read "If you wanna break my cold, cold heart just say, 'I loved you the way that you were.'"  These lines touched me. I feel like Taylor is telling us that her lover didn't like the way that she changed. She says that telling her that he loved the way that she was in the past is basically telling her that he doesn't love how she is now. I mean, she could have had her reasons for changing. She has the eyes of the world on her and wouldn't do things without thinking things through.  Yes. People change. If someone can't stick around to learn why, did they even love you to begin with? (I'm not commenting on Taylor's relationships here. I'm speaking in general.) I think that people have to be given the benefit of the doubt here. If some part of their character has c...
Read more