I Just Wanna Be A Girl!

Oh my god. I'm a senior and I'm not sure how to feel about it.  Around the same time last year, I was thinking about the amazing seniors I had and how I could never fill their footsteps. I lamented about how much I would miss them throughout the year. I wanted to be the kind of senior they were to me.  I don't know if I was that kind of senior to anyone. It's not my place to decide. I do know that I missed my seniors every day of the year. That I can say with certainty.  As I write this post, I'm debating what to do to achieve what I set out to achieve. All I can come up with is to be myself. Show my juniors the joys of this college and show them the things that led me to meet the best people ever. I want to show them that professors are actually friendly and can help you make your dreams come true. All they have to do is take the first step and take that little initiative.  I don't think there is anything else I can do. I just know that I want to leave my mark....

  Get ready to dive into a rollercoaster of emotions, where heartbreak mirrors your own and the pain feels all too familiar. If you've ever loved, lost, or lingered in the ‘what ifs,’ this one’s for you. Grab your tissues... this journey is bound to make you sob. Oh my god! My fourth book is out! Writing this book was cathartic. It was a way for me to purge my emotions in a safe way that didn't hurt the people I love.  These poems were written during my most emotional moments. Some of them tell a story, and others were written to make sure I didn’t explode and do something I’d regret. A lot of my poems are filled with heartbreak and devastation, but there’s one thing I want to tell you all. Those heartbreaks will heal. You’re gonna be okay. Everyone who was out to get you will get their due one day. Remember, extraordinary people have critics. The key is to let it slide off your back and get back up again to fight, with your head held high. 

I lit every match just to keep us warm, Held your storms like they were mine to mourn. I stitched up your silence with my bare hands, You watched me drown, never learned to stand. Gave you my light when the night got too long, Wrote us in verses, sang you in songs. You said I was magic — but only halfway, Loved me like a secret you’d never quite say. ’Cause I gave my all, but it wasn’t enough, Loved you soft in a world that was rough. You held my heart like a paper cup, Drank me dry, then gave me up. You get to explode, I’m told to be calm, Wrap your chaos up in a ribboned psalm. But I am the silence that nobody trusts, My emotions turn into your disgust. You’re angry I’m angry, but I’m just so tired, You lit the fire, then watched me expire. I begged for the truth, but you gave me lies, Now I’m left haunted by your cold disguise. I scream in the dark where you can't hear a sound, I’m not even sure if I’m still on the ground. I’m choking on words I can’t ever s...

Show me your love Shower me with affection Give me some attention Tell me that I'm all you want Not just when it's dark  And when we are alone Say it to everyone Shout it from the rooftops Tell me like it's carved in stone Not written in water Tell me you want me when it's hard When there's a battle raging Even when I break your heart Tell me you need me That you crave me Keep it like an oath  Don't make me feel like a locked door With no keyhole, A question you were tired of answering, A wound you blamed for bleeding. 

You got your care Your affection  Your physical satisfaction  Did you see the pain she's in The sorrow and grief in her eyes  The one she hides from you every day  All for the sake of your happiness  She keeps her tears to herself  Turning it inwards Twisting and turning in her  Poisoning her mind and heart  Making her believe the worst For you, she sacrificed her peace Hiding herself  Putting herself after you  Like a good girl  It's all in vain  When she sleeps with tears in her eyes Night after night 

No matter how you pushed me away Or hid yourself away You asked me to leave But I couldn't  I said I was going But I didn't I waited  Day and night  For you to come back  How could I go? After all we've shared  After the secrets you've entrusted to me So I stayed to fight  Hurting myself in the process All for you  So you could feel safe  And believe that there was someone  Who cared enough to stay  I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this  But what's it for  You still want me gone  You want me to leave you alone  So you can be peaceful  Without me...  If that isn't enough  I still can't not check on you  I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Every word I say is wrong My emotions turned against me My very breath... A burden Why do I need to be here? You say you want me You say you need me But when I'm here, you don't My tears are a sin  I'm always here when you call  Setting aside everything for you Wanting to know you better In the end, it's useless  Taken for granted My steadfastness My reliability  I'm loyal And trustworthy  Keeper of your heart And secrets But what of my heart My emotions Unvalued and never addressed My needs and dreams - ignored I should have played hard to get Would that have changed things?

What did I do to be born for you The moments we've cherished The way you flash your smile when you see me in the morning  What I wouldn't do to see that again Those cheesy chicken strips we pine for What I wouldn't do to share those with you one more time In your eyes, I see nothing but truth  And unconditional love that knows no bounds Through texts exchanged, we grew closer A journey that can't be reversed  Watching ducks shake their tails You avert your eyes as soon as you see a cat Smiles dancing in your eyes In your arms, I found my home away from home.  Safe and sound, protected from all harm In your arms, my worries skip away I am a princess in your realm, My greatest treasure is you.  Our treks and tree climbs All worth it when we reach the summit And sigh in relief, looking at each other We reached peace, To which we were each other's key The way that we explored the city The moments alone we stole Eyes darting around  I would die a million deaths ...

Pulls out chairs  Holds the door open Takes me out Shows me the city Says I'm his world The best thing that's ever happened  A goddess on Earth  All just sweet nothings? I've put everything I had in this  In him  But I've seen him do this To them  The other girls Checks them out  Up and down Checks if I'm watching  I act like I'm not But I do  I notice his lingering gaze  The secret hidden smiles He does all this for me But what if he's just nice Paying me back for what I've done for him  All the niceties I provide 

Love at first sight never felt right Until him  I thought love came from understanding But he swept me off my feet Those dark brown eyes, hiding secrets in their depths Those muscular shoulders, strong enough to carry the world That lush hair, thick and full Tousled in the wind... That black shirt and those blue jeans  Majestic and regal, commanding respect The sparkle when the light hits his eye The smile that could brighten an eclipse The curve of his brow, deep in thought Those lips, curling into a kind smile That voice like velvet laced with deep thunder When he leans back like the world bends at his will His laughter like spring breaking through the winter clouds Not arrogant nor proud But pure and blissful  Leaves a gentle echo that lingers in my heart  Then...  I knew Shakespeare and Marlowe were right Love at first sight exists It lives on in me And in him  The mystery guy

You look around searching for her She's there, but not Where did your lively girl go? She's gone... Do you wonder when you lost her?  Was it when you made her wait every day, always late? Was it when you dismissed her dreams? Was it when you made her feel used? Was it when you asked her to hide?  Or when you said you were ashamed of her? Was it when you said loving her was a burden? Or when you said her emotions hurt? Was it when you said her emotions hurt you Or when your tears caused your anger Does it really matter when you lost her? 'Cause you already did. She's still there, hanging on your words Clinging to you like your lifeline But now, she pretends nothing hurts She hides her sadness and emotions  From you, when you were supposed to be her solace Wondering where she went wrong, what more to give Tired of hurting, when she says she's hurt, she hides it all  Away from the world You lost her when you didn't tell her how you felt When you didn't tell her...

Once upon a time My life was normal  Nothing out of place Just me and my girls Ouch! I bumped into someone I apologize and run off A black t-shirt Blue jeans Tousled hair  A smile that would light up the whole town I didn't notice this then  Just another guy  Hours to days to weeks Watching him from afar  Pushed together But we're just friends His smile brings me butterflies Heat runs up my spine at his gaze Blush creeping across my cheeks Who is this guy? Exploring and investigating Learning about him  Why though?  Why do I even care?  Ohh...  I like him Just a crush?  Or something more I bump into him again His hands on my shoulders, steadying me His chocolate brown eyes Looking in mine I knew what it was I was in love  What about him?  Am I cursed to watch from afar And so I do  Observing his quirks Every change and mood I want to know more His musical voice approaches me one day  It says he wants to know me too Co...

I looked everywhere. Begging on my knees, For you to come.  Save me from myself. Protect me from the world. Like you said you would. You promised you'd be there  When I called Where were you when I died, Waiting for the proof? You were gone... With someone else?  Or have I been forgotten? 'I need you!' I cried to the heavens, Pleading with them to find you  And return you to me. You weren't there A broken promise Like countless before 'I'm used to it. It's okay,' I sigh Welcoming you back Deep down, I know, You won't appear when I need you.  I still waited for you To prove yourself  Counting the stars to kill time Tracing my memories of you  Hoping you'd reach out to me again You showed me the pain of silence  Even fools stop waiting I am not a fool  I keep waiting Needing  You

  I peek over my shoulder There he is Tall and handsome as hell He is Jupiter And I, Callisto   I’ve had my eye on him As long as I can remember A thousand moments In quiet corners Not one was mine   The curve of his lip The chiselled jaw Those dark eyes… Hiding secrets Depths I long to dive into But never dare   Countless fantasies Spinning in circles in my head Day dreams and night dreams Possibility of something Longing restrained   But… no... He is somebody else’s someone I’ve seen them around Hand in hand Two peas in a pod Never one without the other And so… I keep my distance Doomed to watch Never live A silent spectator A peeping tom Watching happiness that I can’t share Clutching my daydreams Yearning for a glance Each one, a bruise He is a story already written And I am just the reader Loving the someone who was never meant for me

Strut around knowing you won  You have everything you need  Your every desire fulfilled without hesitation It comes at a price You lost the girl who would do anything for you Who gave herself up to you Body and soul  Her peace depended on you  You lost the girl who revolved around you Your own personal moon  She waited on you day and night  For the moment when you'd see what was happening  You lost the girl who suppressed her needs for yours Her smile faded before your eyes  Her spark disappeared Slowly dying from the inside out  You lost the girl who took care of herself on her own So you could have the best version of her She whispered your name in the dark, like a prayer Sobbing, hoping you'd hear her cries You lost the girl whom you brought back to life After a thousand deaths She put her faith in you  She lived for you  You lost the girl who put her emotions aside for you Hiding things that would hurt you  Her emotions bec...

Yesssss. It finally happened. After months of toil, we did it. We finished our trial semester. I have to say, it was one hell of a ride. From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes, I gave my blood sweat and tears for this.  So... let's start at the beginning. The team and I arrived at RSL school at 10:30, ready to roll. I watched the sky slowly darken, dreading the rain. You see, we had to take the kids past the ground and upstairs to a little hall for their performance. If it would be hard to take the kids up there safely. Grades 1-3 didn't have school today. They had come in specially for the performance.  I went to my class, second grade, and made sure all the children remembered their dialogues. I was delighted to see that they did! After that, we engaged them for a while so as to not let them sit idle (we had some free time) After the kids had their lunch, we gave them their nametags. Each team's student-instructor made special nametags for each of their kids. Once the...

Bang! Goes the door. Crash! Goes the gate. Ding Dong! Goes a bell. Sounds filled with anger and rage. Trembles run down my body,  Whimpering and yelping in fear.  Cold sweat dripping... Drip. Drip. What do those sounds mean? Flight or fight?  What should I do?  Rooted in place, unable to breathe. Bang! Crash! Ding Dong! A call back to reality Flee!  Stumbling and tripping in haste  Run away with my head down.  Silence!  So quiet you can hear a pin drop.  Waited with bated breath. Silence filled with vengance Anticipation rising. Counting the footsteps. Hearing everything in the distance. Heart pounding in my ears. Silence broken with glares Filled with hate  Deafening silence Fragile and delicate Worried to breathe too loud To make a noise and disturb the heavy silence Fear of what the climax will bring  Fear of harm and danger And so...  Living in fear of noise and of silence Fire and Ice?  Or Noise and Silence? Both dest...

For years I've watched you  Back and forth  In front of me and far away  I gave everything, hoping it was love I lay like the first frost of winter  Cold and unwanted Sacrifice, Endurance Even when it hurt Is this all I deserve? I swallowed my doubts and pain Held him like he was the answer Hoping for sweet nothings Sweet nothings?  More like harsh, cruel reality Cold and ruthless Struck like a blizzard Truth leaving his eyes Promises lay broken all around And now... I lay dying Waiting for the gentleness I crave They said love would save me They didn't say it would cost me My soul. My self.  Why was I the one breaking? My smile hidden My tears freed And with that...  Admiring from a distance A precious jewel But never mine to hold  With the final goodbye,  It was love at last sight

It was a pretty slow day today, so my friend and I decided to hit the library. She wanted to work on her seminar and I said I'd accompany her. We looked at the department library. So, I've seen them before, but when I looked at it with a purpose, I found some interesting texts. Now, since it was the 'department library,' we needed to get the keys from our professor to access the books. They were locked in a shelf.  When we asked for the keys, my professor also handed me a bunch of papers, saying that the books in there needed to be cataloged. Someone had already started, but there was still work to be done. I absolutely love books and anything related to books. I instantly said I'd work on it for a while. I beelined straight for the library after that and settled in.  It took me a while to figure out which of the many keys opened the shelve I wanted to start with. Once I got in, I took the books out, carefully, a few at a time, and cataloged them. It was really nice...

This is gonna be a short entry. The session was relaxed and normal. We didn't start out with a story this week either, deciding to devote our time to our performance. I thought the kids were ready, but it turns out, they needed some more work.  We worked on helping those who needed it, letting the ones who knew their lines take it easy. By the end of the session, we also organized the students into an order. This is the order they would be performing. We decided to put the fifth graders first, so the younger children wouldn't be frightened or intimidated. They can learn by example.  Ohh, I also have an invitation for all of you. Join us on April 16th at MCC RSL School for a fun-filled afternoon. Witness our dear children take the stage, with confidence and eloquence. 

Today was an unusual session of the Service Learning Program. For the first time, we didn't start the session with a story. We had to dive right into preparations for our performance, on April 16th.  Ohh, I'm pleased to announce that the performance is a Cosplay show. Each child has been given a character, a famous personality, or an animal. We've given them a few sentences to learn, which they will be reciting. Each grade has a couple mentors who have been working on this performance diligently. We aren't going to dress the kids up, but rather give them vibrant name tags that they can flaunt when they speak.  Back to today's session...  My class, second grade, was as energetic as always. Some of the kids remembered what we taught them last week, and recited their lines. Some others needed refreshment. Other kids knew their lines, but needed to be taught to recite them with energy. I had to tell them to say their lines happily.  One child, Rosana, was Indumathi from...

Today's edition of the Department of English's Service Learning Program was unique and heartwarming. We started the session with a story, as usual. Today, I narrated the story of Little Red Riding Hood with puppets. The children were well behaved and sat still, eagerly listening to the story. I was pleased to find that not many of them knew the story. This meant that they were eager to learn, wondering what I was trying to tell them.  After the story, we dove into preparations for our upcoming Grand Finale performance on the 11th of April. I printed out dialogues for each child in the class and handed them out. The children were really enthusiastic in learning how to read the lines I gave them. We had them line up as we taught each child individually.  Now, you might think we maintained order throughout the hour. However, the earlier calm wasn't meant to last. As I mentioned earlier, we were teaching the kids to read their lines. So, once I taught one kid how to read, I sen...

I just listened to a song called "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars. It was so beautiful. It felt like something every girl wants to hear.  So, a lot of girls don't know that they are beautiful - or the opposite - they are vain about their beauty. When a girl asks you if she looks okay, it's one of two things - vanity or insecurity. Here, it's insecurity. The singer tries to push away her insecurities. He is dissapointed that she doesn't see her beauty the way he sees it. He's sad that she doesn't believe the compliments he showers her with.  Oh, you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same So don't even bother asking if you look okay, you know I'll say When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change 'Cause you're amazing just the way you are  And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while 'Cause girl you'...

'I trust you,' I said  Eyes filled with hope  Not something I say lightly  Trust is like a broken glass  Once shattered  There's no going back  'I'm here for you,' you once said  With that, I put my trust in you  With one word, it's gone  I didn't believe what I heard  It's impossible, but it's true Heart shattering shattered trust Tears fill in my eyes against my will  Flooding down my cheeks  Dripping down my neck  Wet, salty, never ending  Silent sobs  Can't be recollected  And now, I'm all alone Afraid to trust and to hope Broken promises everywhere Are you happy now? You broke me!  I wanna scream and show you How much it hurts  Red revenge nails Ready to claw into your visage Whatever did I do to deserve this hatred?  This vengeful spite  This scorn and heartbreak  I'm now a shell  Trustless 

Wow, we are on a roll. Even though we have only had a handful of sessions things are moving along.  Today, we worked on puppet theatre. We split the kids into groups based on their grade, as we have been doing the past few weeks. We decided that splitting kids on this basis was easier and more convenient. I narrated the story 'The Three Little Pigs' with handmade puppets. The kids were super enthusiastic and repeated after me when I said the Big Bad Wolf's iconic dialogue. "Little pig, little pig, let me in... Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down." After I finished, I asked the children if someone could repeat the story to me. Nithesh immediately volunteered and Mithralakshna didn't want to be left out. I could see her longing to tell me the story too ,her eyes wide and innocent. Unfortunately, we were short on time and I couldn't hear from her.  After the story, we needed to prepare for a performance that we planned to ...

Today, my juniors performed the play Animal Farm by George Orwell. For those of you who've been reading my blog from the beginning know that my class performed it as well, last year. The class was split into ten teams and each team was given a chapter of Animal Farm to interpret and perform. It didn't have to be exactly what the novel contained and could be anything they imagined. For example, my team performed an investigation about the death of Boxer.  I could only watch teams 1-7 perform. My favorite - and I think the crowd's favorite - was a team that interpreted the animals as stationery. (I don't want to mention the team number incase I remembered it wrong) Each animal was represented as a piece of stationery - a compass, set square, pencil, etc. There was a school student - a gen Z kid - who had no idea what those were even used for and mistreated them. The stationery items rebelled and revolted against the kid, chasing her away. They even had a little chant. The...

I've been to a few Taylor Swift themed parties and they are so therapeutic. I know some people say Swifties are like a cult following their leader, but there is so much more to it than that.  Have you ever heard about female rage? Well, some of Taylor's songs are perfect for when you're angry. When you are with a bunch of Swifties, you can scream your heart out and no one will judge you. They're going to be doing the same thing. You can dance like a maniac and no one would bat an eye. You can let loose and do things that you might not do with other company.  Then there are the bonds you forge. I met a bunch of girls last month and saw them again a couple days ago. They greeted me with a huge smile and welcomed in with open arms. Being a Swiftie is like being part of a community where you are totally accepted. Taylor's music is a safe space. Her songs talk about things that everyone has been through, from loss and grief to heartbreak and first love. The best part is ...

I worked my nails down to the quick I don't know what more I can give I've given all I have  Left behind in the dust Around me, laughter and sunshine  By my side, emptyness Loud and explosive  What's the use of my toil? Fading into the shadows Day by day  No one notices  How my laughs became smiles  Where do I go? What about me?  Who has my back? Do you want to be my friend?

A brush of wind across my cheeks A casual brush against my shoulders  A laugh  It's all stuck in my head  Our song Our favorite food  Our meeting place  All I see is nothing A whisper everywhere But not the voice I crave Our shared secrets remain Every corner telling our story Wherever I turn Memories come crashing down  No anchor to grab on to Drifting... Drowning... 

A room filled with books Dreams taking shape An escape A safe haven  Doors to worlds unknown Where did the time go? Between the shelves I lose myself  A thousand lives Mine to claim In ink my heart is bound Picking one from the shelf Settling down in a cosy corner Ready to dissapear Pages turning  The smell of new books  Hitting me and rendering me senseless A love like no other Nothing to stop me  No judgement  No disguise  Just truth  In A Fortress of Stories

Yesterday I was at Hindustan College for a slew of inter-collegiate competitions. I had only signed up for three, but I heard that we could participate in as many competitions as we wanted to, if we paid the registration fee (which I already had). I decided to do as many events as I could. My first event was spell bee. I messed a word up on the first round and thought I was out of the running. Little did I know, they had a bonus word. The word was pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. I thought I'd give it a shot. As the word was repeated, I tried to make note of the parts of the word. I stood up and tapped my nails along the table as I spelled the word. I missed one syllable (silico) but I got half the points, since I got the rest of the word correct. After that I entered the tiebreaker. (They didn't tell us what it was for or who won until the valedictory)  My next event was pictionary. Before that, I had some time on my hands and decided to put it to good use. Cospl...

This week, we visited the RSL school on Tuesday instead of Friday because some of our teammates were headed to an inter-collegiate competition on Friday. As soon as I entered the school, two kids came running up to me and almost jumped on me to give me a hug and greet me. I went to teach the second graders, just like last week. We thought the students would benefit from some level of consistency.  We started the session with a story. It was one about a fox who turned blue and was worshipped by the villagers. The other animals got jealous and eventually ended up killing the blue fox. (Now. this wasnt the story mentioned in the book. I improvised to make it simpler for the children to understand.)  The session went on reasonably calmly. The only clamor I saw was because of the children's enthusiasm to learn something new. (We were teaching them words based on things we see around the classroom. I wrote the words on the board and they all wanted to spell the words without looking...

Today was the third session of the department of English's service learning program. This week, we decided to split the children in groups based on their age. There were 11 of us, we split into pairs (One team of three).  I was handling the second graders today. I have one main observation to put on record. Those kids were so so so energetic. My friend and I sat them all in a circle and started reading to them. I read to them in English first and then he told them the same tale in Tamil. The kids were sitting quietly at first. I had the genius idea to let them dance for a minute (the story had dancing in it). I admit, I didn't think it through. They shot up and that was the end of order. It was hard to settle them back in their circle.  Then came the stickers. We had start stickers to give the children when they answered a question right. The original plan was to get golden stickers, but I could only get multi-colored ones. When I was handing out stickers, the kids were jumpin...

Take a moment to read through the sonnet...  The speaker here says that he knows his lover lies to him, even though she swears she is telling him the truth, always. She might think he is naive and doesn't know about the world. In reality, he knows that she lies to him. She also believes him when he says he is young, even though she knows his true age. Love's guiding principle should be trust, but here, the couple lies to each other all the time.  My question is whether it is okay to lie to the one you love... Could it be dependant on what it is you are lying about. If it's something that would upset the other person, is it really grounds for a lie? If you're hiding something that would upset your lover, isn't it wrong to hide it or lie about it? But, you could justify it saying it's in their best interest. Again, aren't the best relationships built on trust and truth? Where did that go? On the other hand, are white lies really harmful? But, again, trust is l...

Yesterday was the second session of my department's service learning program. After a taking a pause for a few weeks to discuss some strategy, my team and I descended on the school with renewed energy. Before talking about the session, we do need to talk about how we got there. Now, the school is a little more than a kilometer away. We discussed travel plans earlier and decided that some of us would walk and others would use public transport - depending on their preference. But, we soon realized that we didn't have the time to walk. A few of us were driving. I was among them and arrived at MCC RSL school a little before the session was due to start. The rest of my team arrived minutes later. We split the children into teams as quickly as possible. This time was more organized than the last. We each took our group to different spots inside the campus and sat them down. Some of us worked in pairs and a couple of us worked solo. We were supposed to tell the stories first and then ...

This was something my professor said to me that I really needed to hear.  You won't have critics if you aren't extraordinary. If there is something that sets you apart from the rest of the flock, there would be jealousy or a desire to drag you down. Imagine you're smarter or more beautiful than other people. There would be very few people who would still choose to be your friend. The rest would see you as competition.  This situation is even more heightened among young women. I've noticed that girls are more competitive with each other than boys are. Now, I'm not saying men don't have competition among themselves, but they don't let it get between their friendships. Women on the other hand are most jealous of their close friends. If their friend was to (for example) score higher than them in an exam or do something to catch someone's eye, they would be really jealous. This jealousy sometimes causes friendships to break up. It's so hard for women to f...

Who is Gracelin? Before I read this book, I asked myself how much I really knew about her. One glance through her debut book, 'The Fading Darkness' shows me just who she is. These days, it's hard to find people who see things as they are, people who are compassionate. Gracelin is someone who fills those categories. In her blogpost 'Life of Drivers' she showcases her compassion for an auto driver, rushing to get home. She is a girl who knows just how much her parents have done for her and gives them their due, striving to make them proud. This is shown in her blogposts 'Dad' and 'Mumma'. I especially appreciate her blogpost about her bag. I'm a world where people barely respect their fellow humans, she named her bag 'Jecia' and carries around safely, believing it to be her lifeline. This is a sign of humility grace and respect to everything around her. A book of blogposts is something very personal. It's frightening to put yourself out...

"How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying."  Yessss. How can you say that you love someone if you don't know them? The things they like. The things that make them tick. What makes them happy or sad? That's obvious. You can't. I'm not talking about the trivial things that people don't share. I'm talking about the big things. The obvious ones. The object of your affection can ask you for some things, but not everything. There are some things that should be natural and instinctual.  This line talks about signs in a relationship. If you are in a good relationship, you should be able to read the signs that your partner is giving you. You should know when things are alright and when some issues need to be fixed. The narrator in the song pretty much tells us that her partner doesn't know her very well. She has been trying to express something for a long time now, but he is oblivious.  In the end, all a person can do is remain quie...

I paid a visit to my old school a few days ago. I had some free time and I really wanted to see my favorite teachers. I desperately needed some motivation and I knew they would be able to give me that. I had a few copies of my most recent book. I decided that I would stop by and give them both a copy.  The moment I entered my old campus, I felt invigorated for the first time in a while. I rushed up to see one of my teachers. I was looking for her and asked one of the students where I could find her. (That student happened to be her daughter - who I remember seeing almost 5 years ago.) My teacher appeared a few moments later, and she gave me a hug. She took me into the computer lab, and the first thing she said was that I had changed a lot and that I looked really pretty. (That made me feel really warm) I gave her a copy of my book, and she promised to read it.  Then, I went to another building to find my other teacher. She was in the staff room, having lunch with two other tea...

My professor discussed Shakespeare's Sonnet 131 today. This is part of the dark lady sonnets. There was something about it that hit me. There was something my professor mentioned when he was teaching. It was something related to a wedding. A groom was asked a question that I honestly hope no woman every has to hear. It was something along the lines of 'how do you find her (the bride) beautiful?' The groom's reply was perfect. He said that it didn't matter who found her (his wife) beautiful or not. All that mattered was that he thought she was beautiful and perfect. The narrator in the sonnet says that the lady's beauty is captivating, even though she is tyrannical and cruel. She knows she holds power over him, but she still does so. The speaker doesn't mind because he thinks she is the most precious jewel. He doesn't want to lose her by speaking out. He goes on to say that the society doesn't share his thoughts. They don't find her beautiful. He ...

Today was the first day of my department's Service Learning Program. My staff in charge said a prayer to inaugurate the session. The session was scheduled to start at 2 pm and go on for an hour. However, we started the session a little late, since we had trouble splitting the school children into groups. The teachers of the RSL school were gracious and helped us settle the students.  The students were split into groups at random. Each group had students from grades 1-5. Once the students were split into groups, it made things easier for us to handle them. We had stories ready to tell them and jumped into action. Some of the older children already knew the stories we were going to tell, but the younger ones were captivated and paid close attention. Once I finished telling my story, I asked one of the children to narrate it. When she got it right, I felt something warm in my chest. It showed me that they had listened to what I was saying.  After the stories, we had a set of voca...

I had my first interview today, and it ended before I even realized it was an interview. I had just applied for an internship with a publishing house the previous day and honestly wasn't expecting a call for a few days.  I was in the middle of interviewing the CEO of the same company when I got the call. I returned the HR team's call after speaking to the CEO - now, that's not a sentence you hear very often is it?  I didn't know I was being interviewed when I spoke to the HR manager. I answered her questions easily. They were things I tell people regularly. She asked about my passion for writing and why I love reading and writing. I didn't think twice before answering - as these answers were second nature to me. I don't know how well I performed or if my answers were what they wanted to hear. All I know is that I was honest and true to myself - which is all I can really ask for.  Only after the call ended did I realize that I just gave my first interview. It was...

The day started with the inauguration of the MCC MRF Innovation Park's Writer's Nook. This venue has already been used before, but it was finally time to officially inaugurate this magnificent place. I say magnificent because of the decor of the room. Firstly, there are couches and divans for speakers to use. Secondly, the wall is covered in papers - pages of books, stuck to them. The yellowing paper is very aesthetic and really serves the name of the room.  I had the honor of presenting my books to Ms. Meenakshi Ahamed, a reputed journalist and author. My ideation was also mentioned. I felt pride rushing through me as my professor mentioned my work. After the presentation, the whole party moved to the Anderson Hall for a fireside chat with Ms. Ahamed. I had the privilege of addressing her directly and asking her a question about her book "Indian Genius - The Meteoric Rise of Indians in America," which I read about a week prior.  I enjoyed conversing with her. Her swe...