I Just Wanna Be A Girl!

Wow... where has the year gone? I can't believe it's already gone. This year has just been wonderful. In January, I'd never have imagined I'd be where I am now. I started the year unsure of how to put my talents to use. I didn't know how to develop my passion for writing.  Now... look at where I am. I'm an author and a regular blogger. This was only possible because of my drive. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and I worked for it. I did everything I could. I explored every possible venture.  I think that's what matters. That is what I want to share with everyone reading my blog. First of all, thank you for reading constantly. It's been a hell of a ride. Second, you can do it! I believe in each one of you! Everyone has potential. All you need is the drive to do it. Research your area of interest. Look for people who can help you get started. The most important thing is that you don't give up. You need to believe in yourself. You will make it to the...

This is a short film directed by Ms. Gayathri, an alumnus of Madras Christian College. My professor suggested reviewing this film on my blog, here it goes.  Anbe Nee Illamal deals with a typical problem that couples face every day. Their parents don't agree with their relationship. Now, most of the short films or movies we see with that problem ends happily. The couple goes to hell and back to convince their parents to let them continue in their relationship. This film, however, is different. The couple parts ways. The most surprising part is how the hero reacted to the heroine's confession about her parents' disapproval. He was such a gentleman. He totally understood that there was only so much she could do. He didn't get angry or throw acid on her face or any of the other things we see in other movies. He was so kind and genuine and reminded her that he still loved her. Then, he respected her decision and left her in peace.  Now, there is the guy the heroine's par...

I'm like the Giving Tree No complaints from me "My blood?" you ask "Here you go," I say After all, this is what I was meant to be I wonder if you truly see me I've offered you all I am All I have is yours for the taking My fingers crumbled My dreams destroyed What more do I have to give I'm sure there is still more you desire After this has passed What would happen to me Raise me up on a platform So the crowds can see what I've given There will be silence No one will know all I've done You wouldn't show them what I gave you "It's between you and me," you justify What about me? All I'll have are scars  The memory of what I once was And the silence Nonexistent applause

Beneath the moon's dull light In an undiscovered place Tensions soar Wanting and longing  A touch of fear What comes next? An open invitation Crystal clear As soft as a feather A touch that's there and then gone Gentle and strong at the same time You don't want it to go away It disappears and you long for more It comes back, harder and firmer Demanding a response from you Dominant and pleading Vulnerable and clueless You give in Letting your emotions take control You finally know who you were meant to be Under the light of the moon

What happens when your dreams disappear? When you just know that there's no way that you're ever going to be able to have them. I'm not talking about tangible things like publishing a book or getting the job you want. I'm talking about your hopes for the future - things you built your visions of. It's where you wanted to see yourself, but, you just can't have it. If you stick to your dreams or desires, you're going to lose something else - this thing is something you can't live without. You are sure of that, but... they are your dreams. They aren't something you can just let go of easily.  You are somewhere where you can't do anything but dream. Now, you know that your dreams will never ever come true. You didn't really ask for much, but it still is too much to ask for. You put everything into your dream. You hoped it would come true someday, so you worked for it every single day. Your every thought was for your dream. Now, you have nothing t...

Leave me be I've been hurt before Nothing you say will help Something in me is just broken Whatever you say or do  Nothing will change  I can't be saved I have been broken My spirit has crumbled The fighter you once knew is gone I'm just a shell of who I once was That girl is dead She has been buried deep Broken, battered, and bleeding She can't be healed Don't waste your time Others have tried I believed them They left me worse than they found me I lost trust I lost hope I lost my dreams I lost my desires I am all I can count on It's a hard line to walk But I can't be revived I have no other choice But to live the life that's been laid out for me The girl I once was dreamt of love Unconditional and true She was naive And she has broken The woman I am now Lives off silence, in fear Her strength is gone Her soul burnt away Please don't try to save me again You've tried before And failed Look where I am now I am defeated I give up. 

My girlhood was stolen! Have you seen it? It disappeared with the wind Before I even understood what it was I was once a carefree girl Playing under the lush green trees Rolling on the soft grass Dipping my toes into the flowing streams I didn't know what it meant to be a girl  The precautions I had to take The dangers in the world The eagle eyes I had to adopt I thought being a girl was easy I didn't know it was something to be feared I thought it was a boon to be born a girl I never knew I was a curse Suddenly, my innocence was stolen They pushed me into a corner  My body wasn't mine anymore No one heard my cries of "Stop"  "That is the burden of having a daughter," The world insisted No one helped me find myself  "You are a woman now,"  Give me back my girlhood! I cried in vain

If I played the year back,  I would not imagined I'd be where I am now The twists and turns I hated  And struggled with All of it was to lead me here Where I am now January's pain and February's clarity March and April's joy The bliss that followed in May and June The strained relationships that grew In July and August When threads connected to create destiny In September  Sparks flew and flames raged  In October and November December brought peace and stability  A craving satiated at last Promises kept and truth unveiled Magic witnessed with joy and tears The path's we wandered led us to where we are Here at last Where we are meant to be

Wow... it is so humbling to hear that someone is inspired by you. A couple days ago, I was hanging out with a couple of my college juniors. One of them (again, protecting their privacy by not using their names), told me what my professor said about me in their class. He was using me as an example to drive his point. I was pretty honored to hear what he had to say. I'm not sure if I deserve it, but it felt really nice to hear what he had to say about me. (Thank you, sir!) He told them about the things I did and even what the principal said about me (I doubt that happened, but it was nice to hear.) "Akka, you are my role model..." she said.  "...You were already my role model in ethnic walk, now in literature also," she continued.  I was so moved. I've called so many people my role model or my inspiration, but I never thought I'd see the day when someone was inspired by me. I couldn't really speak for a minute. I wondered what I did to deserve that kin...

Now, this is a bit different from what I usually write but it's something I tried and it changed the way I think.  So, the point is pretty simple. It's just basic grammar. You need to look at the tense of the verbs. When you use the word 'you' in the sentence, or are talking about the reader/protagonist, the verb should be in simple present tense. When you are talking about another character in the story, for example, you are watching someone doing something, the verb should be in simple continuous tense.  For example: "You open your eyes and inhale deeply."                             "Night falls before the thief returns. 'Please, spare me,' he cries."  These are things that are different from when you write something in the first or the third person perspective. The next thing is that you have to put yourself in the character's shoes. You can't be separated and away from the actions an...

I do remember the swing of your step The life of the party, you're showing off again And I'd roll my eyes and then you'd pull me in I'm not much for dancing, but for you, I did Because I love your handshake, meeting my father I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions I've listened to this song a million times, but today, there was something about this song that reminded me of insecurities and the worry of not being good enough. When the singer says that she's not really into dancing, but she does for him, it feels like a metaphor for changing herself and her ideals and likes and dislikes. Then, there's the reason behind the change.  There's this post on Instagram that shows how a relationship looks when a girl loves more and when a guy loves more. The lyrics (in my opinion) depict a relationship where the girl loves...

"A Lost Land of Magic - Anything is Possible "  This is the title of my third book. It originally started as just a collection of stories in the second-person perspective, but it soon became more. Now, it is a story where the reader becomes the main character. Everything happens to the reader. They go through each of the "character's" minds in turn after being cursed to take on the visage of 14 others.  This way, I could still keep my basic idea while connecting all of these stories with a simple prologue - which I would love to share a few days later.  The stories can be read independently, as a literary experiment - which is what this was. I attempted this experiment after a challenge from one of my professors. It soon became something more and I enjoyed writing it.  Now, whatever I write, I automatically want to write it from a second-person perspective. (It happened during my basic writing skills exam. I was trying to write a story and in the middle, I almos...

Yesterday morning, I had the honor of playing a key role in inaugurating my department's Service Learning Program. This was my brainchild, conceived years ago. I always wanted to spread the importance of reading and the effects it can have on children.  As someone who began listening to stories at a really young age, I know the impact it can have on someone. Books give us a huge amount of general knowledge - even if it's fantasy you choose to read. My preferred genre is fiction. These books have given me a vast vocabulary and impeccable grammar skills. These are things that you just acquire. I never had to put any work into this.  We all know how important English is in this world. This project will help children improve their language skills and will help them fall in love with reading. I hope they will know what it can give them and they will want to do it on their own.  This project was even presented before MCC's principal, Dr. Paul Wilson in a special ThinkTank meeti...

  Before you read this, take a minute to look at the poem, Sonnet 130 by Shakespeare. It's part of the sonnets addressed to the dark lady.  This sonnet pretty much ridicules the conventions of beauty. Throughout this poem, the poet describes his lover. Look at how he does that. He pretty much says that she doesn't meet any of the conventional standards of beauty.  Now, what exactly are the standards of beauty? Isn't beauty in the eyes of the beholder? That's how it's supposed to be. People have different tastes and they find different things beautiful. Now, Shakespeare didn't mean it this way, but when I read the poem, I felt like a woman has to have all these things to be considered beautiful. That's what we are told as we grow up. A woman has to look a certain way to be considered beautiful - and, let's face it, every woman wants to be called beautiful.  The thing is, these things are out of our control. She can't control the way she looks. The onl...