Great Expectations

 "You can't expect a bad person not to harm others."

Expecting someone to change their ways after these ways have been rooted so deeply in them for years before you met them is irrational. Now, I'm not saying that all people are bad people, of course. But there are habits in other people that you would want to change. For example, imagine your best friend chews with their mouth open. Now, if this were your little sibling, you would have had the chance to correct them when they were younger. But you haven't known this friend during their formative years, when something like this could have been changed. 

This can also be applied to someone you love. Like, there might be something you don't like that they keep doing. This isn't something so horribly wrong that it warrants a break-up, but it's something that bothers you. You think that if you bring it up enough times, it can be fixed. But if you take a moment to think about a habit that you have that you can't break. It's something so deeply rooted in you that changing it would be to change your very self. Then you would wonder how to work around it. I guess my answer to that would be to think about whether it really is a deal-breaker for you, or if it something you can overlook. But, it's important to think long and hard about this. Under no circumstance should you compromise your beliefs or needs. If that's what happens, it means that this other person, whether it's a friend or a lover, has an unhealthy control over you. 

If that's where you are, you need to take a step away, to protect yourself. 

I'm not saying its wrong to expect things from the people who claim to love you, because love does involve some compromises and changes. The thing is... you have to be comfortable with it. You can't be the one making all the changes. If that's what you do, it means that you are losing yourself. One day, if you find yourself alone, you should be able to identify yourself as a person you still identify with, if you get what I'm trying to say, 

So... coming back to the first point I made here... you can expect change, but if that change changes someone's innermost self, that change is not healthy nor should it be encouraged. If you need that kind of change from someone, it's up to you to decide on the relationship you want to have with that person, without forcing them to change. Remember that you would not want to be put in that position - when you have to change your core self just to be liked. 

Wow... that was deep. But stay tuned for more coming. My syllabus is making me think deep thoughts.