Forgive Yourself First

-

Can I just say... you have to forgive yourself. You have to understand that things aren't always your fault. You can't keep blaming yourself for things that are out of your control. 

If you hurt someone, ask them for your forgiveness. If you mean something to them, they are sure to forgive you. Once they do, it's time for you to forgive yourself. 

Now, imagine that the other person is someone who considers you to be their best friend. Think of how it would hurt them if you kept blaming yourself. They have forgiven you and they just want you back. They understand that some things can't be controlled. Even though they were probably very hurt or angry, they got over it. The whole point of their anger or sadness was so that you knew not to repeat the same mistake over again. But, what's the point of it if you are going to blame yourself and isolate yourself and keep away from them. That's just totally counterproductive. 

Would they have gotten mad or sad if they didn't care for you? You have to look past what has happened and remember that. But, it's impossible if you don't forgive yourself. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. And that's okay. If you keep blaming yourself, they are going to regret ever telling you that you hurt them. Is that what you want? Obviously not. You would want to know. 

My point here is that it's okay to make mistakes as long as you realize them. It's not okay to keep beating yourself about them. 

Comments

  1. Anderlin VictorAugust 29, 2024 at 4:47 AM

    A person who forgives others easily but not themselves has helped everyone but not themselves.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Remember that you are a Woman

-
Image
  Yes, I am one of those girls who spends most of her time with guys. That doesn’t mean I don’t need to remember the fact that I am a woman. Until recently, I thought I would be totally fine with spending all my time with a group of boys. At one point, I found myself deprived of all the things that made me a woman. I didn’t feel respected as a woman. Even though I had a group of male friends around me, I felt an extreme need for female companionship. There are just some things you need another girl for, right? I needed a girl to gossip to. I needed to moan and whine and just talk about the guys in my life. It might sound shallow, but I think it is one of the basic needs of a woman. When I was reading “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” by John Gray, I noticed how he claimed that women need to be listened to to be validated. That obviously means having someone to talk to. What better place to go to than another woman who makes you feel validated. The world needs more women w...
Read more

A Tribute to My Seniors

-
Image
  Before I start, I’d like to say that this is a very personal post, dedicated to a few very special individuals.  Anderlin, Sharan, Shane, and Mugunthan.  Technically they are my seniors, but they have become something more. These guys are the reason I made it through the year and have become irreplaceable brother figures to me. I may not call them ‘Anna,’ but the respect they earned from me is immeasurable. I still remember the first time I saw them. I was at an ethnic walk practice. It was only my second day there and I wasn’t very confident yet.  The four of them weren’t around on the first day of practice.  That’s when they arrived. They appeared, walking in a straight line. They looked so majestic and powerful that they scared me. They came to stand in front of me and I remember chills running down my spine. None of them were laughing at the moment (you’re not allowed to laugh or smile during an ethnic walk.) I was so intimidated by them. There aren’t wo...
Read more

Just Say "I Loved You The Way That You Were."

-
Image
This is another lyric from The Tortured Poet's Department The Anthology. It's from the song "Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus." The lyrics that I want to talk about read "If you wanna break my cold, cold heart just say, 'I loved you the way that you were.'"  These lines touched me. I feel like Taylor is telling us that her lover didn't like the way that she changed. She says that telling her that he loved the way that she was in the past is basically telling her that he doesn't love how she is now. I mean, she could have had her reasons for changing. She has the eyes of the world on her and wouldn't do things without thinking things through.  Yes. People change. If someone can't stick around to learn why, did they even love you to begin with? (I'm not commenting on Taylor's relationships here. I'm speaking in general.) I think that people have to be given the benefit of the doubt here. If some part of their character has c...
Read more