Elder Daughter Syndrome

Elder daughter syndrome can be explained as the unique pressures and responsibilities placed on the oldest daughter in the family. As an older daughter myself, I can assure you that this is true. 

The eldest daughter has the most expectations placed on her, in the family. There is an extreme need to succeed and to prove herself. They have to achieve great heights and take care of their family. Yes, they learn independence early on, but with that comes guilt and shame. 

There's a saying that goes something like this; "the oldest child grows up with the parents and the youngest child is raised by the older one." The firstborn children are like trials. The parents themselves are just figuring out what to do. They are young, too. There's something else that happens here. So, the older sister raises the younger one because their parents are still learning. But, when the parents do figure out how to raise the child, they reclaim them from the older sibling, who has spent most of their childhood taking care of the kid.

The elder daughter has to set a good example for her younger siblings. (I have a little sister and I find it very hard to be a good example for her.) It's not easy when one is a teenager themselves. They are just beginning to discover themselves, but they aren't given the space to do so. 

Elder daughters feel guilty living their lives. They pretty much end up giving up their life for their family. (Yet, no matter how much they do, they are always constantly criticized.) They have to watch their parents grow up. They have to be good at everything and when something goes wrong, they feel like it's all their fault. They end up feeling like they failed and let everybody down. There is a lot riding on their shoulders. 

I'm not saying that boys don't face this. I found it easier to write from a girl's point of view because this is something I go through. I'm sure older sons can relate to this post as well.