Savior

So... disclaimer... I'm not gonna hide names in this post. This is for Shane, who started off as my senior and my friend. 

Yesterday morning, I called him for a chat, like I do sometimes, and... by the end of the call, I was crying. I told Shane about how I was physically assaulted and how no one helped me when it happened and I talked about it. Shane was really upset that I didn't tell him about what happened earlier. (This happened months ago, but it still has a really bad effect on me.) He said that if I had told him, he would have come to help me. In that moment, it felt so nice to know that there was someone who cared, and someone who would back me. He stayed on call until the tears ran dry, and checked on me through the day. 

But... little did he know that he saved me once before, too. One day, I was with the person who hurt me, someone I can't name because honestly, I'm still scared. We were off campus. Shane called me and said he was on campus, and I demanded that we go back immediately. If not for Shane... I would have been hurt earlier. For that, I will forever be grateful and hold him in the highest regard. Even as I write this, I am so happy to know that I do have someone like Shane. It makes me feel safe, which is something I desperately need right now. 

Now... you might ask me why I'm talking about this today, out of nowhere. So, earlier today, I spoke at a seminar, talking about my semester abroad. After that, people congratulated me, and my professor said I spoke with great confidence. But... here's the thing. That confidence could also be because there's nothing else that can hurt me anymore... right? After all, the worst that could happen has already happened. What more could he do to me? Yea, I'm confident. I can deliver a killer speech. But... that confidence was once natural and innate, but now I think it might be brashness, that nothing more can happen to me. Maybe... just maybe... I am the same girl I was before this happened? I miss her.