I Just Wanna Be A Girl!

  Get ready to dive into a rollercoaster of emotions, where heartbreak mirrors your own and the pain feels all too familiar. If you've ever loved, lost, or lingered in the ‘what ifs,’ this one’s for you. Grab your tissues... this journey is bound to make you sob. Oh my god! My fourth book is out! Writing this book was cathartic. It was a way for me to purge my emotions in a safe way that didn't hurt the people I love.  These poems were written during my most emotional moments. Some of them tell a story, and others were written to make sure I didn’t explode and do something I’d regret. A lot of my poems are filled with heartbreak and devastation, but there’s one thing I want to tell you all. Those heartbreaks will heal. You’re gonna be okay. Everyone who was out to get you will get their due one day. Remember, extraordinary people have critics. The key is to let it slide off your back and get back up again to fight, with your head held high. 

I lit every match just to keep us warm, Held your storms like they were mine to mourn. I stitched up your silence with my bare hands, You watched me drown, never learned to stand. Gave you my light when the night got too long, Wrote us in verses, sang you in songs. You said I was magic — but only halfway, Loved me like a secret you’d never quite say. ’Cause I gave my all, but it wasn’t enough, Loved you soft in a world that was rough. You held my heart like a paper cup, Drank me dry, then gave me up. You get to explode, I’m told to be calm, Wrap your chaos up in a ribboned psalm. But I am the silence that nobody trusts, My emotions turn into your disgust. You’re angry I’m angry, but I’m just so tired, You lit the fire, then watched me expire. I begged for the truth, but you gave me lies, Now I’m left haunted by your cold disguise. I scream in the dark where you can't hear a sound, I’m not even sure if I’m still on the ground. I’m choking on words I can’t ever s...

Show me your love Shower me with affection Give me some attention Tell me that I'm all you want Not just when it's dark  And when we are alone Say it to everyone Shout it from the rooftops Tell me like it's carved in stone Not written in water Tell me you want me when it's hard When there's a battle raging Even when I break your heart Tell me you need me That you crave me Keep it like an oath  Don't make me feel like a locked door With no keyhole, A question you were tired of answering, A wound you blamed for bleeding. 

You got your care Your affection  Your physical satisfaction  Did you see the pain she's in The sorrow and grief in her eyes  The one she hides from you every day  All for the sake of your happiness  She keeps her tears to herself  Turning it inwards Twisting and turning in her  Poisoning her mind and heart  Making her believe the worst For you, she sacrificed her peace Hiding herself  Putting herself after you  Like a good girl  It's all in vain  When she sleeps with tears in her eyes Night after night 

No matter how you pushed me away Or hid yourself away You asked me to leave But I couldn't  I said I was going But I didn't I waited  Day and night  For you to come back  How could I go? After all we've shared  After the secrets you've entrusted to me So I stayed to fight  Hurting myself in the process All for you  So you could feel safe  And believe that there was someone  Who cared enough to stay  I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this  But what's it for  You still want me gone  You want me to leave you alone  So you can be peaceful  Without me...  If that isn't enough  I still can't not check on you  I didn't have it in myself to go with grace