To Miss Someone Special

-

You feel your heart pounding in your chest. There was something that triggered you. It could have been a song or a voice or even a word. Your throat dries up and you feel a lump. You feel tears welling up in your eyes. You close your eyes and try to distract yourself, but your heart just hurts. You feel empty inside and drained of all your energy. All you want to do is curl up in a corner and let your emotions crash over you. You try to move past it but you just can't. Everything you see after that moment brings back memories. You can't stop them from flooding into your head. You can't stop them from taking over. There are so many people around you asking you what's wrong, but you can't bring yourself to tell them. They will just think you are being silly. The only thing you can do is let your feelings take over you. You can't stop them. Tears keep leaking out of your eyes at random times, even when you are laughing. You both want to remember and want to forget at the same time. You aren't sure which is easier. 

That's what it feels like to really miss someone. You feel like you are missing a part of yourself. The things you see are just harsh reminders. 

(I know this entry is shorter than my usual ones. This feeling is just something I felt and wanted to try to put into words. There is a lot more that can't be expressed.)

Comments

  1. Anderlin VictorSeptember 13, 2024 at 5:15 AM

    I guess people just miss eachother a lot more differently than one another. When I miss someone, I'd be irrationally angry with them for not reaching out to me as often as they used to. Then I'd act like it doesn't bother me at all. But deep down, I'd really wish I could be with that person again. Flooding back memories.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Remember that you are a Woman

-
Image
  Yes, I am one of those girls who spends most of her time with guys. That doesn’t mean I don’t need to remember the fact that I am a woman. Until recently, I thought I would be totally fine with spending all my time with a group of boys. At one point, I found myself deprived of all the things that made me a woman. I didn’t feel respected as a woman. Even though I had a group of male friends around me, I felt an extreme need for female companionship. There are just some things you need another girl for, right? I needed a girl to gossip to. I needed to moan and whine and just talk about the guys in my life. It might sound shallow, but I think it is one of the basic needs of a woman. When I was reading “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” by John Gray, I noticed how he claimed that women need to be listened to to be validated. That obviously means having someone to talk to. What better place to go to than another woman who makes you feel validated. The world needs more women w...
Read more

A Tribute to My Seniors

-
Image
  Before I start, I’d like to say that this is a very personal post, dedicated to a few very special individuals.  Anderlin, Sharan, Shane, and Mugunthan.  Technically they are my seniors, but they have become something more. These guys are the reason I made it through the year and have become irreplaceable brother figures to me. I may not call them ‘Anna,’ but the respect they earned from me is immeasurable. I still remember the first time I saw them. I was at an ethnic walk practice. It was only my second day there and I wasn’t very confident yet.  The four of them weren’t around on the first day of practice.  That’s when they arrived. They appeared, walking in a straight line. They looked so majestic and powerful that they scared me. They came to stand in front of me and I remember chills running down my spine. None of them were laughing at the moment (you’re not allowed to laugh or smile during an ethnic walk.) I was so intimidated by them. There aren’t wo...
Read more

Just Say "I Loved You The Way That You Were."

-
Image
This is another lyric from The Tortured Poet's Department The Anthology. It's from the song "Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus." The lyrics that I want to talk about read "If you wanna break my cold, cold heart just say, 'I loved you the way that you were.'"  These lines touched me. I feel like Taylor is telling us that her lover didn't like the way that she changed. She says that telling her that he loved the way that she was in the past is basically telling her that he doesn't love how she is now. I mean, she could have had her reasons for changing. She has the eyes of the world on her and wouldn't do things without thinking things through.  Yes. People change. If someone can't stick around to learn why, did they even love you to begin with? (I'm not commenting on Taylor's relationships here. I'm speaking in general.) I think that people have to be given the benefit of the doubt here. If some part of their character has c...
Read more