I Just Wanna Be A Girl!

When we think of Western culture, we believe they are very free with the use of euphemisms, bad language, and other related ideas. However, that is an idea propagated by the media.  In our attempts to be more 'western,' we are very free with euphemisms. It's hard to say anything without wondering who will point out some weird euphemism. We need to think a thousand times before saying anything, and in that process, we lose the essence of what we wanted to convey.  Similarly, we think we are becoming more 'western' when we use crass language in our regular conversations. In reality, people here don't use many 'bad words.' It is the media that makes us believe we can be more 'western' if we talk like them. However, if we try to be 'western,' we are losing our culture. We are losing our purity and dignity.  This is just a little something I've noticed over the past couple of weeks, and it got me thinking. We try to be western, but we are ...

Biting Pinching Shivering Wet Rain Sleet Snow Hail Wind Chatter Gusts Gale Now, I know this isn't really a poem, but rather just words listed out. But, today has been a really cold and rainy day here. I haven't adapted to the climate yet and I'm cold on a good day. People really love the air conditioning here, and it is so cold. Now, today was worse. I woke up this morning and it was dark and cloudy. I had to go get breakfast and it started pouring when I was in the cafeteria. I had to walk back to my dorm in the rain. As I got wet, I started shivering. I dried up and it happened again as I went to see a professor.  The sky has finally cleared up now, but I am still cold... 

Last night was my first "floor event." It basically means everyone from my dorm floor gets together to hang out and do an activity.  Last night, the activity was mirror decorating with paint and seashells and beads. It was so much fun and my mirrors turned out amazing. But that wasnt the best part. The best part of this was that it felt so calming.  I think there's something about painting and gluing things together that is really relaxing. Once you get into the rhythm, it's so peaceful and it takes your mind off everything else. The only things that esxist are you and your art. The people around you are invested in their own projects that they don't have time or energy to critique your work. Even if they do, it doesn't mean anything because you are doing this for no one but yourself. It's only to make you feel good. It's for you to create something you love.  I think that's really therapeutic. Ps... the mirrors I decorated are on the top of this p...

I have heard so many stereotypical questions over the past few weeks and I just wanted ot highlight some of the funniest ones I got here.  First, I wear a bindhi regularly. One day, as I was standing in line for lunch, some random person who I have never met before blurted out "Doesn't the red dot mean you are married?" I was in shock for a minute. Like... excuse me... I am only 19 years old. No I am not married. I quickly explained that that was a different red powder - kumkumam powder - and not this sticker. A few days before that, someone asked my the significance of the bindhi and I had to think before answering to make sure I didn't give them incorrect information.  Just yesterday, when someone heard I was from India, they asked me if there were Bengal Tigers roaming around my backyard. I had to take a pause here too. Firstly, most people in India don't have backyards because of the population needing more land to build houses on. Secondly, if there was a tig...

This morning, in my Introduction to Literary Studies class, I read a dialogue between Socrates and Phaedrus, written by Plato. There was a story in it about Theuth, the Egyptian God of writing and Thamous, a king.  Theuth started the discussion, stating that writing improves intelligence and memory. Thamous disagrees, stating that writing would lead to the loss of memory because people would rely more on aids, making them appear intelligent but they would not be smart in real life.  Now, my class and I got into a discussion about the downsides of written literature as opposed to oral tradition. The first point was that writing can go anywhere; it can spread to places where it would be inappropriate or irrelevant. Writing is indiscriminate of who it adresses and it is incapable of defending itself. For example, if we were to listen to a speech and we didn't like what someone said, we would talk to that person. But, if it were a book, it could not reply to us.  Now, these a...

I spent a large part of my day working on a little art project that helped me feel connected to home. So, I got the idea when I was painting the little photo frame yesterday. I wanted to assemble a little collage with pictures of the people I love. So, today, I went to the library - I love the library btw - and printed the pictures I needed.  I came back to my room, watched one of my favorite comfort shows, while assembling the collage. Seeing it on my wall now, in front of my desk, where I spend most of my time, makes me feel very warm and safe. It makes me feel like they are looking down on me, checking on me and making sure I am safe.  In a new place where you barely know anyone and everything feels alien, having some connection to your home is really important. This makes me feel like I can look at the people I love and talk to them and when I look into their eyes, its like they can hear me. Thats so beautiful and I love it so much. I love my little art project and it make...

Today was just another day, that started out like any other. However, as the day went by, I practiced some old skills and learned some new ones. First off, I cooked lunch with my friends and I was incharge of doing the dishes, something I never did back home. I was relieved to find out that I could do the dishes without making too much of a mess.  Then, a new friend I made taught me how to monetize my blog. He taught me how to import my content onto "Medium," which would eventually pay me to write. I worked on setting up a profile there. Please click the link below and follow me to show support guys.  https://medium.com/@Ijustwannabeagirl Then, I vacuumed my room and did some painting. I love artsy stuff and I was delighted to have time to do that again. 

A couple days ago, in my poetry class, my professor said "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me," and asked us to comment on it.  As we discussed, we realized that words hurt us more than physical attacks ever can. Words can't be taken back. Physical wounds can heal, and they will eventually dissapear. Memory isn't like that. We tend to hold on to things that made us feel sad or angry more than things that made us feel happy.  I think that statement might have been true a long time ago, but in todays world, where people are more free with their emotions, they tend to say things in anger that end up hurting the listener more than anything else. 

Last night, I cooked on my own for the first time. The homesickness finally kicked in. I wanted to eat something that reminded me of home, something warm and spiced.  I made something my mom usually makes, or atleast tried to recreate it. It didn't work, but I tried. As i was cooking, I inhaled the smell of the food and my eyes welled up with tears. It smelled like home.  I'm not someone who really likes staying home all the time, but I think home isn't really small place, I think it's bigger than that. In class, my professor asked me to describe how I knew I was home. I talked about the heat of Chennai, the humidity, the never ending sound of traffic, the smell of jasmine flowers, the smell of spices and tea, and the hot breeze.  Home isn't just my house. It's everything that welcomes me every morning. Here, the heat is dry. There isn't any moisture in the air. I'm used to the heat, but the lack of moisture makes it hard to breathe and I ended up missin...

Today was my first actual day of classes at LeTourneau University. My day started off pretty early, with my first class at 8am. The classes here are 80 minutes long, which is way longer than I am used to. However, the classes were pretty interesting and I managed to pay attention to the whole session without drifting away.  My first class was Introduction to Literary Studies. There were surprisingly only 5 people in my class. We started off with some introductions and looked into the syllabus. I was shocked to see a detailed plan for every single class mentioned in the syllabus, complete with the assigned reading and homework assignments.  My second class was right after that, at 9.30. It was English Comp I and we were going to be learning how to write better, which was something I was looking forward to - to learn to be a better writer than I already am.  Then, I had a long break in between classes, up until 3pm. However, I wanted to use that time well and make sure I wa...

I was so worried that people would be very judgmental or discriminatory.  I was shortly proven wrong. The people I met as soon as I got here were more understanding and accepting than the people I have ever met before. (Of course there are exceptions.) They are always willing to help, no matter what you need. They actually want to talk and hang out. They make an effort to include me in their days, to include me in their plans.  I really appreciate that. Being in a new country, it would have been really hard without people to talk to. I anticipated a lot of loneliness and searching for people to sit with at lunch. I didn't have to go through any of that, and I'm so so thankful for that. It's just made things calm and the transition has been smoother. 

Before you say anything, I didn't know it was a children's game guys.  Today, I had some free time and a friend and I decided to go borrow a game at the Student's Center. There were a lot of choices, but I saw the name 'Candyland' and I wanted to try it out. I thought there was more to it than just moving your pieces around. I thought it might be a little like 'LIFE' or 'Sorry.'  I was sorry mistaken. My friend and I finished one round in about 2 minutes.  Then, we went back to the room where the games were stacked to try to find something else. We decided to play 'Harry Potter Mystery' which was kind of like the game 'Clue.'  Now... This would have been fun, except that we didn't have a lot of time to play. Just as we got started, we realized that it was time for lunch.  So... We did play boardgames, but didn't have enough time to enjoy them. I hope to go back and play some more soon. Until then... 

So, there are people at LeTourneau from all around the world. And one of the things I noticed is that everyone here is very accepting and they help everyone out.  For example, there are people here who didn't know what a bunk bed was. When that came up, the Peer Advisors (PAs) were very nice and explained what it was. Similarly, when I said ladysfinger, they took the time to go look it up so they could understand what I was trying to convey. They were willing to watch a Tamil movie with me, even though they wouldn't understand it, just to make me feel more at home.  Today, someone asked me what a Bindhi is, and it just put this now into perspective. It made me think for a minute about exactly what it's purpose is. It's like people are learning about everyone else's cultures.  The thing is, there is a large international community, which offers a platform for everyone to feel comfortable. No one person or culture is singled out, because every single person is unique....

Today, we had a nice little game night. There were board games, card games, and.... Drumroll please... A bracelet making station. I beelined for it, and it took me back to my childhood. My little sister and I loved makiybeaded bracelets when we were young and this was a walk down memory lane. I sat down and grabbed the elastic thread. I picked out a bunch of letters to add words to my bracelets. I had so so much fun and I was really fast. Once I ran out of ideas for myself, I asked other people what I should do next.  One of my new friends, Trey, asked me to make him a bracelet and I got that done quickly too. I did a couple more for friends and then I was heading to dinner.  Right outside the cafeteria, two of my other new friends showed up and I flaunted my bracelets. They wanted one with their name on it and I said I'd make them one next time we had the chance.  There was a guy walking by and just called out 'I want one too.' I turned around and said 'Sur...

So... the reigning treasure hunt champ's reign continues. We had a scavenger hunt as part of our orientation here. We went all around the campus, looking for clues that would also serve as a tour of the college.  My two favorite parts of this tour/hunt were the library and the performance theatre.  The theatre was part of the Belcher Center. It was the huge kind of theatre auditorium that you see in shows and movies. There were tiered seating arrangements and I could almost feel the echoes around it.  The library was also amazing. A good library is something that I've always longed for. It was quiet, peaceful, bright, and inviting. I loved it.  Other than that, on the scavenger hunt, we collected little prizes from the different places where we found clues. We got beaded necklaces, a cowboy hat, and a bandana, true to the stereotypical identity of the state of Texas.  I thought the campus was huge, but it was actually smaller than MCC. It only seemed big because...

So, there's this thing I learned about in orientation called Title 9. One point from the explanation that I picked up is that people can be put in jail for something like catcalling or flirting when the opposite party is unwilling.  So... this got me thinking. This problem exists everywhere. We always see women, or even men these days, being catcalled or whistled at. They are called hot or bodyshamed at random. And these are strangers who do this.  I was wondering if this kind of law exists in India, and if so, is it enforced? This was mentioned in the orientation, which means that it is enforced and taken seriously here. I felt like something like this could really help in other cties around the world. It's like something for women to fall back on when they need it. They can rely on the idea that someone is watching out for them and that they can talk about these kind of problems and make sure that they are safe.  Anyway... I'm not sure if this post is meant to bring any...

So... when I was getting ready to come here, my professor (Waves to my teacher) told me that this experience wasn't only going to be academic, but be cultural as well. And... all day, when we had orientation sessions, I was thinking about what he said.  So... here's what I noticed. Firstly, there's something that a lot of our professors at MCC do... they say we are super absorbed in our phones all the time, then reminisce about their good old days before technology. Here, the professor who told us to be alert while walking for safety reasons, said that she too was guilty of being on her phone all the time. That was something that shocked me. Like... a professor admitting that is unheard of at MCC. Next, the clothing style. So... when we think of Americans, we think of short, skimpy, or tight clothing. Yes, this is a stereotype, but it's something that I think a lot of people believe. But... when I showed up for orientation, I saw very baggy clothes. It made ...

I'm here!!! LeTourneau University, here I am.  After hours of long travel and bad meals, I'm finally here. As I drove into campus, my stomach tumbled. It was so so beautiful. (I didn't get the chance to take any pictures yet, but I'll share them soon). The campus was so peaceful... it was serene. It felt exhilarating.  I checked into my room and went to my building. It looked pretty bare to begin with. The bed was bare and my drawers were empty - as expected. However, it felt lonely and cold. My roommate wasn't in either.  My dad's friend and his family were there to drop me off, but once they were gone, it finally settled in that I was all alone there. I decided to unpack to make it feel more like home. Which was a great decision. Once I did, my room felt so much better and inviting. 

Today, I'm beginning a new journey. I'm travelling across the Atlantic on my own, heading to LeTourneau University in Texas for a semester abroad. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous right now. I'm about to get on a plane and end up in a place I've never been before and be with people I've never met before.  On the other hand, I'm super excited. I've never lived away from home before, and I'm really looking forward to this amazing opportunity. I'm sure there are things I will find hard, but isn't learning how to do those things part of the experience?  Initially, I wanted to go here on a whim, but now, it has become more. I want to go to experience life, to make mistakes and learn from them, to become a better person. I want to learn how to be bolder, more confident, and braver. I want to learn how to deal with people who annoy me and learn how to not let them bother me. I want to experience college in a form I'm not used to...

This session was by far the best session I've conducted so far. This week, we took the kids outside for a change. We settled them on a raised dias and all the children crowded around me.  We started the session with the Macarena dance to energize them and to help them settle in for the story. They were so loud that the groups around us were distracted, as they counted the steps for Macarena with us.  The story I told was the story of the Happy Prince. The children renamed the prince "Prince Jijo," after one of my teammates. Some of the kids listened intently while others were not very interested in the tale.  After the story, we gave the children a word search and jumbled words activity. My teammates thought the kids wouldn't be interested in that kind of activity, but they were proven wrong. Some kids took the sheets, went to a quiet spot, and solved them all on their own. I was so shocked when one of them finished their activity sheet all by themselves and brought i...

So, my department has a new Service Learning Program called "Happy Feet." It's a dance therapy group. Today was this program's first session.  I didn't know what to expect, but I wanted to check it out to show my support, since I know how hard it is to start and organize a service learning program.  I was helping out with the registration and getting consent forms signed before the session started. Once it got started, there was no stopping it. Once the participants got comfortable, they soared like caged birds released. The student coordinator, Panimalar, and the staff coordinator, our favourite Phebe Mam were amazing. They were really enthusiastic and welcoming.  This program was meant for people who don't know how to dance, and the coordinators made sure those people felt comfortable stepping out of their comfort zones. We started out with a basic dance and then went on to freestyle and using dance as a form of communication rather than just something we le...

Last week, I said that the kids were well-behaved angels. This week was the complete opposite. There were some other issues that the team and I had to iron out, so we were a little late going to class. In those few minutes, it was as if some spirit possessed the kids in my grade. They were running all around the room, jumping on tables, and were overenergized.  We found it really hard to control the children and keep them engaged. We tried to tell them the story of the shoemaker and the elves. The kids listened from time to time, but it was hard to keep it for a long time.  We did manage to finish the story and teach the kids some vocabulary. We ended the session with a drawing of an elf.